I felt lost most of my life. I tried everything I possibly could to explore my interests and to fit in with society.

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I didn't have a belief system. I was forced to go to church, which I rebelled, because I just didn't resonate with the lens of the teachings.

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I was diagnosed with Major Depression at age 17. I had an undiagnosed eating disorder, low self esteem & worth, was overweight and had very negative self talk. I was addicted to my inner critic & negative emotions. I loved to runaway, escape and numb out from my suffering with alcohol, sex, tv & food.

 

After losing 90 pounds at age 21, I fell sick with gallstones and had to have surgery. This was my first awakening. I woke up from my surgery with a newfound desire to have a career that felt more meaningful. I wanted to be a nurse.

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Fast-forward 5 years later after becoming a Registered Nurse & travelling the globe, I flew to India to live in the himalayas with my husband to study Yoga, Ayurveda, Holistic Coaching & Energy Healing. I fell into many spiritual depressions after returning home from different intensive Yoga programs, trying to integrate at home on my own. I also tried to have children, but it never aligned, which kept me in a state of ongoing grief. So I adopted two amazing dogs instead. This was my 2nd awakening. 

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In 2017, I was back in Canada exploring the newage/creative/spiritual/hippy culture, connecting with like-minded new friends & reguarly using psychedelics. This was my 3rd awakening.

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By the end of 2017, we moved back to India. Goa this time.

I became a DJ, curated events, worked with the street dog rescue initiatives, adopted my third dog,  separated from my husband, was initiated into Tarot, learned Ayurvedic Bodywork, lived through the pandemic and dove deeper into my healing journey. I worked through my traumas, ancestral healing, de-conditioning my mind, learning my unique energy blueprint and becoming the most creative and sensitive I've ever been. I moved to South Goa in 2021 to isolate myself in the jungle for even deeper healing work. This was my 4th awakening.

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In 2022-2024, I travelled to the Big Island of Hawai'i and had an inner calling to return to my Yoga & Ayurvedic path, which brought me back to the north of India, where it all began. An 11-year full circle. But, this time, I was going deeper and with a new intention, to open my heart, train my mind & explore the path of becoming a nun. I studied Tibetan Buddhism in both India & Nepal, learned Vipassana, became a Buddhist, taught a Geshe class Dharma English, did many silent retreats, online programs & went deeper into my practice. I moved back to South Goa and lived sustainably in the jungle, bathing in the river and living under a mosquito net completely at one with nature, her daily rhythms and beautiful creatures. This was my 5th awakening.

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I also like to use the word OPENING. 

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Slowly, but surely, opening more and more, the heart & mind. Returning to my true nature.

 

So as you can see, for me, the spiritual awakening journey is a deep and ever-unfolding evolution. A peeling back layer by layer of trauma, programming, conditioning and suffering. The path was not linear at all. It felt like two steps forward and one step or many steps backwards with never ending rock bottoms. I was in and out of suicidal ideation until about age 36. But, with each wave of expansion brought deeper wisdom and greater clarity. Next steps. More courage, motivation, strength & resilience to persevere. A little more patience, faith & trust. More purification of negative emotions and cultivation of positive qualities. The mind and heart slowly opening little by little, establishing a stronger foundation and one step further on the path.

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Some of the tools that were part of my journey to heal include:

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*Anti-Depressants

*Psychics, Mediums, Tarot Readers & Astrologers

*Yoga Teacher Trainings, Immersions & Practice

*Ayurvedic Panchakarmas 

*Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy

*Vipassana Meditation Retreats

*Tibetan (Mahayana) Buddhism Studies & Retreats

*Compassionate Inquiry

*Emotional Freedom Technique

*Talk Therapy with Creative/Artistic Integration

*Energy Healing

*Psychedelics

*Music & Dancing

*Spiritual Teachers, Books, Courses & Energy Guides/Coaches

*Self-Study, Research & Contemplation

*Global Travel 

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Everyone's journeys are so diverse and we all have our own unique experiences & perspectives. Some have spontaneous awakenings, while others, like myself, have a more slow and steady journey. 

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Our paths may follow different routes and require different tools, but we are all being guided back home to our true nature.

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